Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Sleep and My State of Mind

Sleep is a theme throughout my blog.  As you would have noticed there is not much of it had in this house between Connor and Merryn.

I don't think I really understood what it was doing to me and my state of mind until I got a few nights of reasonable sleep (only a few wake ups and blocks of at least two hours consecutive sleep).  On the days after those nights I can cope with anything, I have infinite patience and nothing the kids does bugs me.  But on the days after I've had only a few hours broken sleep I have no reserves at all.  I snap at the kids over everything, Connor and his noises and mannerisms drive me nuts and I get absolutely nothing but the bare basics of food and nappies done.

This may all make perfect sense to the outside observer but to me here in the middle of it all those days just feel like I'm being a bad mother.  I feel guilty for getting mad at the kids and start waiting for child services to arrive on my doorstep after the neighbours have rung to report me for yelling at them.

I guess it just highlights how important it is for us to get the sleep issues fixed that Connor (and Merryn) has.  If I feel out of sorts and unable to cope with my day, how must he feel?  How can he learn and grow when he is exhausted AND stressed out by his mothers behaviour.  The three of us need to get this problem sorted in the interest of all our wellbeing.  I'm quite sure Andrew will be thrilled to have a happy home to come back to as well.  :)

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