Just Eat Another Piece Of Chocolate

Last year was a huge year.  We had appointments for something on most days, I had another baby, we got Connor's diagnosis (and mine too for that matter) and I spent way too much of it awake.  So Christmas has come and gone and I'm really struggling to get up and running again.  Connor has started his playgroups and fortnightly FECS but that's it.  I've not started all the activities and therapy I should be doing with him at home, the housework is a joke and I'm way behind in the other things I'm supposed to be doing for FBC who I volunteer for, amongst other things.

The psychologist from FECS was just here and I think I managed to sum it up perfectly when I explained to her I've just stalled.  There is soooo much to do and I'm so behind now that I'm getting NOTHING done.  I get the kids meals and sleeps and some play time done, I manage the bare basics around the house, and that's it.  And I feel so guilty about it all I can do is have another piece of chocolate.

Somehow I've got to get out of this cycle of procrastination and launch into 2012 before it's over....but how.  The tiredness is still a constant battle everyday so my energy levels are very low and I feel like I never get a break.  There is never a day when I can relax and just read a book and have a nap.  I know I'm a mother and we aren't supposed to expect that, but I find it incredibly hard to never get time to de-stress and unwind and just switch off.

And it's not just the kids that are a constant drain on my resources.  The adults around me seem to constantly what me to make all their decisions too.  What they are going to eat, where that bowl goes in kitchen, making the haircut appointment.  It just never ends.

I wish I could have just two days to myself.  To sit beside the pool, read a book and drink a very long tall Strawberry Daiquiri, go to bed when I want and sleep until I wake up naturally.  But that's just a dream, for now I have to be content to tap out my gripes on the computer and eat another piece of chocolate (let's not even talk about my failed diet).  :)