Tuesday 24 July 2012

Ellen Barron Family Centre (take 2) - Day 4

When Merryn woke up at 6:30am after the worst night we'd had all week I felt like the whole week had been a waste of time.  We were going home the next day and she had spent the night doing exactly what she does at home.  Waking frequently, not responding when you try to settle her and grizzling and crying for long periods of time.
She seriously loved that frog!

We headed down to breakfast after having a chat with the nurses who reminded me this is a process that has forward and backward progress and that if we are 'consistent and persistent' it would eventually pay off.  Easy for them to say, they haven't been at this game for 3 straight years *grumble, grumble, why are there no magic bullets, grumble*.

With breakfast over I was pulled aside by the Dr again.  She had been having a think about Merryn and since she knows Connors Developmental Pediatrician she volunteered to talk to her to help smooth the way. I thought it was nice of her to offer and obviously she had been thinking of us and our situation so that was nice.


I then headed out with one of the other mums for a walk down to the shops.  I figured after the past few days of disastrous daytime sleeps I would try to really wear Mez out and put her in to bed later.  We had a lovely time and got back in time for a quick bite and then in to bed.  She crashed with no complaints and I got to relax and have a nap.  After last nights efforts and the walk this morning I really did need it too.

Once Mez got up we wandered down for a snack and headed to the playroom.  It was all becoming a bit of a routine, but in a nice way.  It was all very easy and relaxed.  I started to think about having to go home and wasn't at all looking forward to it.

A girl on a mission!
Dinner, bath and bedtime all went really well and by 7pm she was fast asleep.  I headed down to the kitchen for a milo and chatted with some other mum's.  It was the last night there so I wanted to see how everyone was going.  It was a mixed bag in terms of what had been achieved over the week but everyone was hoping with more practice at home they'd be able to get it all sorted out.  I think the Centre should send a nurse out to everyone's home in the week after and do a quick check of the environment and see how everyone is going.  The controlled environment is fabulous for teaching the kids good habits but the reality of home is not nearly so perfect for most of us.

I had a fairly good night, well better then the night before anyway.  She woke every 3 or 4 hours but wasn't too hard to settle.

The next morning I had us all packed and ready to go by 9am.  I wanted to get home before it was time for her morning sleep and I had mum all lined up as my chauffeur.  Unfortunately my car boot hadn't been closed properly since Monday so the battery was flat as a tack.  Luckily a friend could come and get me!


Monday 23 July 2012

I Hate Him

Since the respite Connor has slept in bed with me every night.  From the last night he started with night terrors and would come out at about 9pm and just scream hysterically until he finally passed out.  So now some nights he starts out in his bed, some nights in the lounge room, some nights he just comes in with me.    Sometimes he stays asleep most of the night but usually there are hours when he's rolling around moaning or screaming or he just sits up and wants to play.  Putting him in his bed just makes him scream hysterically.

There is no escape.

Three years of no sleep and I'm just about ready to kill myself.  There doesn't seem to be an answer, he's on slow release melatonin now, he doesn't sleep during the day, I've tried every technique known on this planet.  At the end of the day he is broken and I have to figure out how 3 hours of broken sleep is supposed to keep me alive.